Friday, January 07, 2005

bottled water

hello.. lookie its 12.15am and i am wide awake. i have nothing to do and so i opened my laptop and decided to pour out everything here this wee hour. i am awake because:

1. i got tired of riding crappy buses with tons of unknown people inside
2. i got home and.. actually i dont remember what i did after
3. oh yah i remember.. i opened my laptop and checked my mail
4.. i went to my room and decided to take a nap until 8pm
5. i didnt sleep because im too annoyed with my sister
6. i went down and they didnt leave any dinner for me
7. i got more annoyed and ate chocolates
8. i thought more of the things happening around me.. i got confused yet again and so i hanged out more in my
room while listening to my alternative rock cds (feels good when ur not in the mood)
9. i realized i ate chocolates which are forbidden and sinful
10.. i suddenly caught myself working out while listening to bush's machine head (track 7 of sixteen stones)
11. i finished my workout, took a bath and now im here

drat this is pathetic. i cant believe this is happening. its new year for crying out loud, it's crazy and im turning
into an anger machine of some sort. haha. anyway, its really sad psychotic people exist. when u decide to
just ignore them, they just get worse and it's hard not to notice them or even let them ruin ur day or whatever.
i think it'll help if i write it here.. i have the saddest news!!! my wicked sister cut off her visa and so my credit card is dead. i think i should wear black later to school, meybe it'll help ease my misery. anyway, i shouldve
gotten earlier to the mall and burned it away with more purchases. but come to think of it, it's like the beginning
of something good though. im processing my new credit card with equitable bank, and yeah i wont be dependent
on my sister's extension right...

but today was crappy and fun, i kind of blurted out a lot of f*** and p*** today specially on my way
to school while i was chatting with vincent. hahaha, its fun to be mean and angry sometimes if u think of it.
then i also again complained about life and my ever famous sister at school and awhile ago while i was with
dear azrael but i cat be that angry in front of him, haha. and i remember, i got all wet before coming to class
and i was jittering in the classroom but that part of my day was fun though. its just that when i got home that i got
all this dark and gloomy, i can like imagine my hair turning from brown to deep wicked henna black or something. rant rant rant....

right now i dont really know what to do. but while i was burning off the chocolates i ate awhile ago.. i realized
that maybe, just maybe, the root of all this evil is insecurity. sooo.. my revenge is to just get even better and
happier with my life.. let her drool until she runs out of saliva.. im being totally mean and i know this isnt like me
at all but yah, when i get angry its even worse than this. i like my peace and when u disturb it, its war time.
like the art of war, im not going to attack obviously but i'll crawl deep down and bring u down. but oh no, i love
my God so i'll be good. let's just stick to the first plan.. i get better, she gets worse. harhar.