im so dead and angry, lonely, depressed and everything dark.
this is the last thing i want to happen. Yet it does happen and the timing, is sooo good,
thesis. why are men so peanut brained. why cant they keep a promise. do they
even know its meaning. why do they change when they felt you love them the same way.
why should i keep talking when men dont understand. the things they do to get you before are
not the things u should expect ahead. there are tons of excuses. they dive into them. pick one
excuse and expect you to believe. im not dumb, im not stupid. my eyes are not big for nothing.
i cant leave another demon right now, its unfair for my thesismates to witness
the gruesome suffering and sadness i will undergo once again. this is the
lowest i can get. i feel the earth will eat me anytime soon. i want to forget.
if youre doing it, why cant i. i keep my promises even the smallest of the small.
i want to disappear. and i will.
you know who u are, dont even think to talk to me about it. this is my space.
i never knew the thin line between love and hate, until now.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
im so dead and angry, lonely, depressed and everything dark.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 11:55 PM
yup i am so lonely and read: BLUE
omg what am i suppose to do, i have tons of thesis stuff and i am
barely breathing from stress. basta, i AM so LONELY!!!!
i want to sing that Aegis song and eat sacks of Lindt chocolates and Cadburry
in between and some ice water to flush them all down.....
but i can't.... because i have to be genki and energetic
to finish this thesis which is due in two weeks.
it's great na rin that i was with my groupmates for the
past two days. enjoying the sauna weather, getting dirty and sticky.
then laughing all the tasks away. but we were able to get some stuff
done as we eat all along. it made me forget.
hayyyy... some things you just dont have the guts to explain because
of dear old pride. to that person, I AM LONELY.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 10:03 AM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Do you love cooking? Here's something new i found today.
When i woke up this morning, i saw some distibutors talking
to my mom and so i decided to sell it too. it's a Filipino invention
which is a grill, and my mom bought one right away because of the great
features that are unique and makes cooking efficient and fun.
here it is: if you want one, just contact me.
i am selling it at its introductory price of P1,200 according to them it
doesnt spill and cooking your regular food becomes faster when u use it.
it doesnt create smoke also. i have the brochure too and a sample
since we bought one nga. ^^
Posted by Lace Llanora at 12:59 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
I barely slept today. Azrael and I slept around 6am already and I was so sleepy but I couldnt sleep. I was about to get some eye shut but I had to call Kats and Marion. My drowsiness disappeared when we exchanged ideas and talked about the progress of our thesis. And then I just had a very lonnnggggg chat with azrael and I asked him such stupid questions and also interesting ones. Hay I cant believe my ears and even though I was getting jealous of his stories I kept on irritating myself by asking more questions about his past. All his escapades makes me want to cry but to hell with that, it was so fun anyway. I just wished I met him years earlier and be able to have him all for myself and get tons of money *kidding*. Its gruesome to think about all those times he was with the others and I was in agony listening to their kilig moments but then again, I loved listening, im so weird. I was sad and enjoying at the same time. Hahaha. I already asked some stuff before and when I get bored I just think of azrael with another girl and get myself furious, and so im not bored anymore. Haha. Now I have more reserves for dull moments and I can imagine azrael doing this and that with another woman. Hahaha. Hay grabe this is the weirdest post ever. I just finished doing some articles and parts for my thesis. Thesis makes me crazy but I love it that we are having progress. Im kinda loving doing the magazine content stuff. Then azrael and I made this puzzle for the *secret* comic magazine, we’re not allowed to mention it as for the competitors might hear. Haha. Ayun. Then now its 3.30 and im gonna call azrael again. Haha. Im so in love today and tomorrow we’re turning 7.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 3:26 PM
Saturday, July 23, 2005
yay, i got a rest day today. thanks to azrael for doing the tasks in my behalf.
i was able to get a decent sleep after a busy day. we're already starting with the survey, thank God. and because of the terrorists and the SONA, there will be no meeting whatsoever on the said day. now i dont knowif thats good or bad, but the good thing is i was able to accomplish some survey forms which i hope are all valid. Kats met with our adviser today and she txtd some scary stuff like the panelists would fail us if there is no allocated budget for the marketing communication progam. hay. i hope all works well with our boss because they are saving money and they dont want to spend a dime.
i was also talking to my big sister about my so-called gameplan in my career if there is. haha. i know all these marketing stuff and i have this bad feeling i wont even use one theory in real life when i get a job. months nalang and im gona march down the graduation aisle, of course its the graduation aisle. then i want to work asap, if thats the case, i gotta fix my job at convergys which is a call center. now where do i use all my intellectual talent in marketing? grahhh... what is important, for me to use my education or earn money? grahhh (second time) *lol* im just excited kaya im fussing about this as early as now.
anyway, im still digesting the salty pizza vincent made for us. it was ok but the after is oohhh super salty. it's like a cooking war zone in my house today, i cant wait what theyll be coming out with for dinner.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 5:13 PM
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Yup we are done. and im so happy we're done. with the FGD. hayyy it was exciting and at the same time tiring to conduct a focus group discussion. at least, we got real smart kids and im thankful they came. i can't wait for the results and then the survey. i can see the end of the tunnel already. someone come and get me puhleez out of here. my group and i ate tons of jollibee yesterday and i swear im not eating jollibee for this week (week lang, i really love chick n spag so i cant promise any more than that)
and because no one wanted to talk to me, i watched disney channel while eating chocolates and drinking tons of water. i enjoyed Recess, i used to catch it before tuwing morning sa cable. made me laugh at least.
may nakasulat dito kanina.. i deleted kse wala lang. i might be jumping into something im not too sure about kaya im just holding on... again.
Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban
Mga liham ng linihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayon kailangan ng itapon
Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon..
May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na
Posted by Lace Llanora at 3:25 PM
Friday, July 15, 2005
Posted by Lace Llanora at 8:36 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2005
the revenge of pictures.....
this one is in kamiseta and i found a nice top i really want to buy soon. i have a lot of things to buy, ive got a very long list in mind.
another pic from Tokyo
now with kuya az.. hay we're looking more and more like siblings. ive got new pics on my fone but i'll upload it next time.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 7:27 PM
met azrael's mommy yesterday, we all ate at Tokyo Tokyo (after eating at Jollibee) whew... then we went shopping for azrael's and michele's computer
stuff. I got plenty of pasalubong from his mommy and thanks so much!!! i like
everything she gave me, specially the skirt ^^
me, chopsticks, michele and tita dulce
then they went to Kamiseta, it's their favorite shop daw and i also found a nice top.. hayyy... broke as i am, we just took pics of ourselves. i'll try to add more pictures later. i love his mom's camera, sana iiwan nalang kay az.. ^___^
Posted by Lace Llanora at 2:30 PM
Sunday, July 10, 2005
got the crown from fantastic four movie at glorietta. they were giving away toys and stuff. i finally got the bag i was dying for. sobrang happy na ko tuloy, haha. and im still searching for kids, i hope my friends can help me find them. i got some who are not too sure of letting their sisters go. anyway, the focus group seems to be taking place at jollibee taft. its very convenient and those kids will really have fun. if i even have to dance and paint my face boyoyong i will. hayyy.. i hope this term ends already. i cant wait to start earning money and go out on weekends and weekdays, in short, everyday. hahaha. i cant disclose too much of my walk yesterday, spys might come and kill me, strangle my neck, and make me lose my breath. i really enjoyed although i had a hard time waiting for kuya az to get home, hahaha.. peace ^^
Posted by Lace Llanora at 1:06 PM
Friday, July 08, 2005
sobrang stress ano ba yan... hay i wish talaga matapos na. look dumadami na tagalog words ko sa blog, ahahahaha. nakakabaliw na. i was able to talk to andrea kahapon sa ym, i super miss everybody especially mariel. now that she's in manila, ako naman ung di pwedeng umalis because of school work and stuff. grahhhh. and today im here in the comp lab trying to find a population graph of the country. wala pa din akong kids from 9-16 hay nako. malapit na maging hell ung life ko. no shopping and loads of work. btw, today's the day that i only have 10 bucks for the whole day. i found out i had to buy the application form for my sister liza which costs 500. and i thought i can score the bag today, drat. i was planning to get it on saturday (tomorrow) if i can go out on my own but sadly, i cant anymore because my bag turned into an application form. hayyy. i'll update more later. im exploiting the free net here in dlsu. buh bye and everyone, God bless you all.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 9:58 AM
Thursday, July 07, 2005
wala lang, oasis... shame if u dont know the song. anyway, today my groupmates and i were so harassed by the fact that we have to revise our work. but before the day ended we shared the same amount of burden and thought that we can battle our way out. they want to win best thesis and so their fighting spirits are soaring. i take strength from that and we just ate a lot so that our worries will subside. i love turon, camote cue and the baked mac and also the bread na inubos ni marion.. joke lang =p its so funny how the tinderas call baked mac----->bic mac... we had so much fun in the cafeteria even though im a volcano waiting to erupt inside.. ahahaha... anyway, i'll try to post new pics here again but my browser became slow already. sobrang lakas yata ng tawa namen that people outside can hear me laugh and lian singing. tried to bag the bag but grrr people need to become more generous. and guess what, i only have 40 pesos for tomorrow... ahahahaha... that leaves me with 10 pesos for lunch and snacks but i'll be in school tomorrow and hopefully... i find generous ones ^___^ i want to take people out for saturday and im searching for my friends and hope they can make it. i also need to search for kids of 9-16 yrs of age for my focus group discussion. un lang. goin 2 sleep. bye bye.
pic from the office next time, me and lian naman sobrang bagal talaga kaya i cant post all the pics. thanx to lian's camera.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 7:37 PM
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
sobra, when i left makati area and till i got home. everything seems bullshit and im so tired of dealing with these stuff. the day was fun, watching war of the worlds and eating my favorite chicken and spaghetti from jabi. but after that i realized a lot needs to be finished and i have to think hard always of what i am getting myself into. hay nako i'll just have to wait and see. the things that make me happy... when can i get them into paper bags with receipts attached on it. lalalala.... hayy im so depressed.. im going to sleep.
i want to go to bangkok already and shop till im dead.
Posted by Lace Llanora at 7:19 PM