Friday, June 19, 2009

Escape Artist

Blame it on the rollercoaster of surprises life is handing me right now. Indeed, like a box of chocolate - one day you've selected a delectable melt in your mouth Belgian truffle, and on the next, a piece of bitter rhum flavored and molded chocolate. Blech!

Maybe this is the fate of the writer, unknown horizons with spikes of excitement and depression. Yet, sleep and food are the best forms of escape. During the day, people add lacerations to already existing wounds. I guess since they are oblivious of what goes on in my brain, how I am pushing myself to the limits to get out of the rut. Never-ending war is going on in my brain. At this point, the least of my concern is my messy room and the least I need is a nagging discourse that just goes in circles. Slept today at 3pm and woke up at 7pm.

The only thing that excites me is food and my next coffee break. Sometimes, I see new readers coming in and like a cold splash of water - I am temporarily refreshed.

It would be nice if I can get comfort in my own home but in reality, elders don't really get along with the young adults. As much as we try to prepare the best dinner, discussions always lead to telling off. One minute they are talking of someone else and the next thing you know you are being scolded. As much as one would like to share ideas and problems, the best thing to do is keep quiet unless you want to be ripped to pieces or feel like a headless chicken. Then, as much as you want to be together with parents, they have an instinct of pushing you towards the nearest exit. Yes there are segments in time when both parties enjoy and peacefully co-exist but this do not last longer than an hour. It may sound like a complain but this is not, this is me wishing for change (and I have, as evident in my lamb-like attitude in Melbourne). Time is running out and in moments like this, I don't need a Juicy but a reliable non-threatening relationship with my parent.

Otherwise, is this the reason why children and parents are better off in separate houses? Is this the reason for moving out? I am thinking about it (except I am not in the position to do so yet, financially) but honestly, I do not want it. Unless, is that what they really want?

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